Went out with some old friends last night and drank.
Drinking is bad for me.
It makes me eat/binge which leads to other things.
I spent a lot of money on a taxi and purged when I got in.
I wanted to self harm but I have been cut free for almost a year and didn’t have any way of doing it. Which I am glad about.
So I took some old meds which I had left over from last year.
I was on the max dose and they are pretty strong.
I also took some laxatives.
I passed out and only woke up today at 5pm.
Where I then got more food which I purged then had to deal with the lovely effects of last nights laxative abuse.
I am a disgusting, repulsive disaster.
I don’t feel any emotion.
I am numb.
I never really know how I feel, I can explain what has been going on, but I can’t say I feel sad, upset or angry.
I don’t feel anything.
I wish I could just cry.
